Season 1, Episode 21: "Travels With Scout"

Original Air Date: April 28, 2010

Claire suspects there's more than meets the eye to a surprise visit by Phil's father (Fred Willard) in a motor home. Meanwhile, Cameron offers to fill the drumming vacancy in Dylan's band, and Manny is in shock after seeing a horror movie with Jay and Gloria.

Funny lines & moments



Phil: Yes, I should have told Claire about the dog.  And I was going to.  But I was just waiting for her to be in the right mood.  Actually, I did get one right mood a couple nights ago, but I cashed that in for something else.

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Ben (old friend of Mitch, talking to Jay): Mitch was really great in that. I always thought he should be an actor.

Jay: Nah, he's got a real job now, he's a lawyer.  How about you?

Ben: Still acting.


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Jay (to Manny): Hey, you want to go to the movies?  I just heard about a good one.

Manny: But I'm supposed to be in school.

Jay: You're supposed to floss, too, but you got away with that one.

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Jay: One of the greatest days of my life is when my old man sprung me from school and took me to the track.  I wanted to do the same type of thing for Manny.  Plus, I figured when Gloria heard about it maybe it pays off in the bedroom.  I wonder if that's why my old man did it?  Oh, crap!

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Cam: If you're in a jam, I can jam.

Dillon: Well, you know, I totally would, but I'm not sure we like the same sorts of music, you know?

Cam: Oh, what, because I'm gay I'm just going to want to play show tunes?

Dillon: No, because you're old.

Cam: Well, that hurt more, Dillon.

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Cam: We happen to be a very traditional family.

Mitch: Yes, that's what the disabled lesbian Shaman who blessed Lily's room said, too.

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Cam (getting ready to audition on drums for Dillon's band): Hopefully this is like riding a bicycle, and it will all come back to me. (Boom)  That's the loud one.  So... here we go.  (He plays very poorly.)  Hmmm, oh, silly me, I had the sticks in the wrong hands.  (He then plays awesome.)

Dillon: Wow!

Dillon's friend: Dude, you should label those sticks.

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Cam: It's that because I'm always home with Lily, I just feel that I'm going a little bit stir crazy.  Look at the den!  Every time I finish painting it, I start all over again.  It's like the Golden Gate Bridge.

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Phil: I always felt bad for people with emotionally distant fathers, it turns out I'm one of them.  It's a miracle I didn't end up a stripper.

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Cam (talking about the band's gig): Are you kidding?  We destroyed in there!  Did you hear that one lady screaming my name?

Mitch: That was Phil.  He had a Red Bull.